Written by Jared Dawson, Brainiact Founder and Brainiact Hoxton Park business coach
For three weeks, I lived, worked, and travelled through Vietnam. It was a time filled with contrasts. The relentless hustle of street vendors met with a slower, more grounded pace of life. People hustled not because it was trendy but because it was necessary for survival. It made me reflect deeply on what we often take for granted in Sydney: our clean water, our relative stability, and the incredible opportunities we have if only we take a moment to seize them. For me, this trip was more than an adventure –it was a wake-up call about how I live, work, and lead my family.
If you’re a business owner in Sydney, especially one juggling the demands of running a company while trying to be a husband and father, you’re likely feeling the squeeze. Rising costs of living, relentless mortgage pressures, and the daily grind of keeping your business afloat can leave you exhausted. Throw in the demands of kids’ sports – soccer, cricket, footy, or martial arts – and it’s no wonder you feel burned out. Add strained marriages and the lack of emotional connection with your spouse, and life can feel overwhelming. But what if the answers to these challenges lay not in doing more, but in doing differently?
Here’s what Vietnam taught me, and how these lessons can help you regain control of your life and business.
Hard work, community, and humility
In Vietnam, hard work isn’t a badge of honour; it’s a necessity. Scooter vendors carry hundreds of items, weaving through chaotic streets. Street food sellers and Bánh mì vendors work tirelessly from dawn till dusk. Grab drivers deliver meals and ferry passengers with astonishing efficiency. The hustle is real, but it’s not about ego; it’s about survival and providing for their families.
What stood out to me was the humility and respect ingrained in their culture. Community and faith are central to their lives. They work hard, but they don’t glorify busyness. They find joy in simple things – a shared meal, a quiet moment of gratitude, or the faith that their efforts will pay off. It made me reflect on how much we, as Australians, take for granted.
For instance, clean water. In Vietnam, brushing your teeth with bottled water is a necessity. Drinking tap water is out of the question. Meanwhile, in Sydney, we’re blessed with fresh, clean water from the tap, yet how often do we appreciate it? Billions of dollars are invested in Sydney’s clean water and wastewater infrastructure, invisible beneath our feet, yet we hardly think about it. In Vietnam, you can’t ignore it because the lack of it changes everything.
And it wasn’t just about survival. The simple joy of connection stood out, like hotel staff practicing their English with my wife and me in the lobby. They lit up with pride over each word, and it was obvious how meaningful the interaction was for them. At the Lady Buddha statue and pagoda complex in the north of Da Nang, I watched monkeys playfully interact with dogs, both wild. Tourists from Korea, Thailand, and China snapped photos, captivated. It was an odd harmony, and it reminded me of something deeper: in Sydney, we’re often like the monkeys and the dogs, fighting over scraps—but perhaps our future selves, like the tourists, are watching and judging us for our pettiness.
The Stoic lesson: Slowing down and living deliberately
Vietnam’s pace of life taught me a lot about Stoicism. People walk slow, drive slow, and even take two hours for lunch. It’s not laziness; it’s deliberate. They savour dozens of different styles of coffee, enjoying the act of drinking it as much as the coffee itself. This resonates deeply with Stoic principles: focusing on what you can control, appreciating the present, and living with intention.
Contrast that with Sydney, where we’re trapped in a social disease of “more, more, more.” People borrow against their homes to buy luxury cars – Audis, Mercedes, Porsches – to impress neighbours they barely know. In three weeks in Vietnam, I saw one Audi, two Porsches, and two Mercedes. In Sydney, every second car seems to be a luxury Euro, while household debt and mortgage stress are through the roof. It’s a frenzy of unthinking consumption. We create problems by always chasing the next thing without stopping to plan or reflect. The frenzy blinds us. It’s reactive, destructive, and unsustainable.
Travelling through Vietnam reminded me of how essential it is to pause and reflect. The joy I felt from being able to work remotely with my wife Natalie and three kids, run two businesses, and explore another country for three weeks wasn’t by accident. It was the result of planning and working our arses off to build a life where that was possible. It reinforced a core Stoic belief: fortune favours the prepared.
The Sydney struggle: Where we’re losing ourselves
Back in Sydney, the challenges are different, but no less daunting. Mortgage repayments and skyrocketing living costs weigh heavy. Many fathers attend their kids’ cricket, footy or soccer games physically, but their minds are elsewhere, preoccupied with bills or work. Burnout has become the norm, leaving no time for fitness, friends, or even a beer with mates.
Marriage often takes a hit too. Conversations with your spouse revolve around logistics: who’s picking up the kids, what’s for dinner, and whether the mortgage payment went through. The emotional connection fades, replaced by a mental checklist of problems to solve. Intimacy suffers because you’re so caught up in your head that you can’t connect from the heart.
Here’s an example: A business owner I know gets frustrated every time he has to pick his kids up from childcare. His wife’s job requires her to work late shifts, so he steps in. But the stress is evident. “How am I supposed to quote another job when I’m running around like this?” he told me once. It’s a vicious cycle – family responsibilities, work pressures, and the constant feeling of being spread too thin.
And then there’s the struggle to find good workers. Labour shortages mean you’re working longer hours to cover the gaps, compounding your exhaustion. It’s a vicious cycle, but one you can break.
What Vietnam reinforced about life and business
Living and working in Vietnam reinforced two key beliefs of mine:
- Gratitude for Australia: Despite the challenges, Australia remains a land of opportunity. Our clean water, stable infrastructure, and relative safety provide a foundation that many in Vietnam can only dream of. But we’ve let that abundance lull us into complacency. It’s time to wake up.
- Hustle with purpose: In Vietnam, people hustle because they must. Here in Sydney, we have the luxury to work smarter, not harder. The problem? Many of us are stuck in survival mode, forgetting to plan for the long term.
Steps to reclaim your life
So, how do you break free from the grind and live with purpose? Here’s what worked for me, and what can work for you too:
1. Build your business to sell or franchise
Your business should serve your life, not the other way around. Create systems and processes so the business can run without you. Whether you plan to sell it or franchise it, think long-term. This reduces your stress and gives you a clear path forward.
2. Prioritise life over busyness
Being present matters. When you’re at your child’s cricket match or martial arts class, put your phone away. Engage with them. Say no to weekend work that doesn’t serve your bigger goals. Life isn’t about being busy; it’s about being there.
3. Charge what you’re worth
Stop undervaluing yourself. Raise your prices and focus on delivering exceptional value. Premium clients respect premium service. This eases financial strain and gives you more time to focus on what truly matters.
4. Reconnect with your spouse
Emotional intimacy starts with listening. Instead of solving problems, share how you feel and ask how they’re doing. Book a regular date night – even if it’s just a walk around the block. Small gestures rebuild connection.
5. Invest in fitness and friends
Schedule workouts or martial arts classes as non-negotiables. Physical fitness boosts mental clarity and energy. Make time for mates too; those connections are a lifeline.
6. Find and retain good workers
Yes, Sydney’s labour market is tough, but invest in training and treating your team like partners. Happy employees are loyal employees, and they’ll help you carry the load.
Gratitude and action
Vietnam taught me to appreciate life’s small blessings and to hustle with intention. It reminded me of how lucky we are in Australia, despite our challenges. My message to you is simple: start small. Write down one long-term goal for your business this week. Schedule a gym session or a coffee with a mate. And tonight, tell your wife something you love about her.
And remember the monkeys and the dogs. They fought sometimes, but most of the time, they coexisted peacefully, relaxed and content. Perhaps there’s a lesson in that for all of us. Hustle less, live more, and remember to be grateful for every drop of clean water.
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Jared Dawson is a Brainiact business coach with 16 years of global B2B experience. Known for his tough-love approach, Jared helps Sydney business owners reclaim their lives while building businesses that thrive.
